


Crossways

by Titti



Series: Living Without Counsel [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Infidelity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-03-27
Updated: 2003-03-27
Packaged: 2019-01-15 21:19:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12329079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Titti/pseuds/Titti
Summary: The 'Ever After' isn't always happy.





	Crossways

Life since Draco had matriculated from Hogwarts had been strange, to say the least. After much begging, Snape had agreed to take Draco on as an apprentice for the next two years. However, he wanted to be certain that Draco could survive during the summer.

Sirius had drawn up an official contract, guarantying Draco room and board for the two summer months. Snape hadn't been too happy that Draco had turned to Sirius, but there was no real choice.

Once school had started, Draco was supposed to spend his days and nights at Hogwarts, but Snape never made an issue when Draco left to meet his lover. For that, Sirius was really thankful.

Another positive effect was that Draco had become friends with Remus, who was now dating Snape. Sirius still disliked Remus's choice, but if he wanted others to accept Draco, he really couldn't complain about Snape.

Six months later, they were facing their first holidays together. Psychiatrists said that the holidays could be the worse time of the year. Sirius knew from personal experience how true it was. Now, he was forced to see his boyfriend going through his first Christmas since his parents had cut him out of their lives.

"Come on, Draco. We can go to Hermione and Ron's party. It's much better than staying here alone," Sirius begged once more as he walked through their living room.

Draco stayed impassive on the couch, his eyes on the parchment in front of him. They had been having this discussion for days and now that Christmas Eve had arrived, Sirius had been saying the same thing for hours. "I don't want to go to a Gryffindor party. You just go and enjoy yourself."

"It's not a Gryffindor party. I bet Snape is accompanying Remus."

"Hand over your money, then. Severus is staying at Hogwarts, just like he always does. I believe Remus stopped trying to convince him around Hallow's Eve." Draco smirked. "Now, if you don't mind, I have some notes to go over. Severus expects me to know this."

"Please, it's the hols. You can take a few days. Please..." Sirius kneeled in front of the couch and grazed Draco's check with his knuckles. "I don't want to go alone. I want to spend tonight with you."

Draco sighed. "Fine, but only for a bit." He shook his head. "I can't believe I'm agreeing to this."

* * *

Sirius and Draco arrived to find a full house. The party was being held at Ron's new flat. All the Weasleys were present. Many of the Gryffindors were also there.

"You're here. Harry was starting to wonder," Remus said as he approached the couple. "It's good to see you too, Draco. You just made me win ten Galleons," Remus smirked.

"I'm sure Severus will find a way to make you pay for that," Draco replied smoothly. After spending so much time with Severus, Draco had become friend with Remus as well, since it was difficult to find one without the other.

Remus laughed. "I'm sure he will, but it's still good to know that I won."

"Sirius!" Harry hugged his godfather. "Come with me. I want you to meet someone." Harry swiftly led Sirius away.

"Good to see you, too, Potter," Draco murmured to no one.

"Give it time, Draco. Harry will get used to thinking of you as part of the family." Remus rested a hand on Draco's arm.

"Of course, he will," Draco answered sarcastically. "He thinks that a relationship consists of surviving the first date. He changes his lovers quicker than he changes his pants. He can't understand that our relationship could be serious." 

"Oh, he can, but we just hope that Sirius wakes up and kicks your arse out of his house," Ron said from behind Draco. 

Draco sighed. He knew this would happen. He should have stayed at home with a good book and some fine liquor. Instead, he put on a fake smile and greeted his host. "Good to see you, Weasley."

"I wish I could say the same, Malfoy. We had hoped that Sirius would come to his sense and drop you."

Draco pinched his nose. "I'm here because Sirius asked me. I can leave if you so wish and you can tell him I've gone home."

"Please, stop it. Sirius will get upset," Remus interjected.

Ron snorted. "Please, Sirius is nowhere to be found. He probably won't notice until it's time to go home."

Draco wanted to rebut the statement, but looking around, he noticed that Sirius had disappeared. "You're probably right, Weasley. It's much easier if I went home. Remus could you tell Sirius that I'm home, but he should stay and enjoy himself?"

Draco walked out the flat and breathed the cold air. He should have known better than to come. Sirius didn't even care enough to stay with him. He knew that he would always come second to Harry, but he had hoped that at least tonight, Sirius would spend time with him.

Deciding that he really didn't want to be alone, Draco headed for Hogwarts.

* * *

He heard the door open and close. Only two people knew how to get past his ward. "I thought I told you to spend time with your Gryffindor friends," Severus said as he brought a glass to his lip.

"I doubt I have any Gryffindor friends," Draco replied.

"I thought you were Remus. What are you doing here?"

"It was either killing Weasley or leave the party. I decided that the second option was easier if I planned to talk to my lover ever again." Draco slumped on the chair next to Severus and filled a second glass.

"Get yourself comfortable and get ready to get drunk. I haven't spent one Christmas Eve sober since 1977 and I don't plan to start now." Severus's voice betrayed the fact that he was already drunk.

"Don't mind if I do. This is probably the best idea all night long." Draco gulped down the amber liquid and refilled his glass.

The two Slytherins continued their drinking in a silence interrupted only by the crackling of the fire.

* * *

Draco slowly opened his eyes. He was in a bed, definitely not his own though. He should really stop drinking. He always ended up in someone's bed.

Draco felt the warmth of another body pressed against his back. He heard the other man - there was no mistaking the erection pressing against his back - groan.

"Draco?"

"Severus? Did we...?"

"I doubt the stains on the sheets are spilled pepper-up potion." Severus sighed. "Merlin, Remus is going to kill us both."

"Would that be before or after Sirius hexes us both?" Draco turned to face his instructor. "You know, too bad I don't even remember it. At least getting killed would have been worth it."

Severus snickered. "I doubt we can use that as an excuse. I can just picture the discussion. 'Do not fret, Remus. It's not as if I remember buggering the boy'. I'm sure that would go really well."

"Hey, I'm not a boy, and who says I didn't bugger you?" Draco replied immediately.

Severus curled a lip. "This discussion is surreal. What does it matter who did what? Neither of us remembers and both of us have to explain this to two Gryffindors. I suggest we get dressed and get ready for what it's to come."

Draco groaned and covered his head with the duvet. "I'd rather stay here."

* * *

Severus entered carefully into Remus's office. His lover looked up from the book he was reading and smiled. "Happy Christmas, Severus."

"Happy Christmas, Remus. You didn't...you didn't come back to my room."

Remus frowned. Severus was never tentative or undecided. "It was late and I didn't want to wake you up. Is everything all right?"

"That's good. I mean..." Severus sat on the chair across from Remus. "I don't know where to start. I never thought I would be saying this..."

"Severus, you're scaring me. Just tell me. I'm sure it can't be as bad as it sounds. We survived Voldemort. Merlin, we survived Sirius, nothing can be as bad."

"Would Draco and I sleeping together qualify as worse?" Severus raised an eyebrow.

Remus shook his head. "For a moment, I thought you said that you slept with Draco."

Elbows on his knees, Severus put his head in his hands. His hair fell as a curtain to protect his face. "I'm sorry. I don't really remember...we got drunk...we woke up together...I'm sorry."

Remus stayed still, shocked at the news. Of all the things Severus could have said, this had never entered his mind. Remus had never thought that Severus would betray him. "I don't...don't know what to say. I...I need some time to think."

Severus nodded. "I understand. I'll leave you alone." Severus finally raised his head and looked at his lover. "For what it's worth, I'm truly sorry."

Remus spent the day thinking. At first, a numbing cold had descended upon him. He just wanted to go to sleep and forget everything that Severus had said. Slowly, he began to face the situation. He wasn't pleased. Hell, he wanted to hex both Slytherins. But he wasn't ready to destroy his relationship with Severus.

Having reached his decision, Remus walked toward the dungeon, trying to find his lover. He saw the flicking light from the potions lab and assumed that Severus was working as usual. When he went in, he saw Draco.

Draco raised his eyes, expecting Severus and froze when he saw Remus. "If you're here to hex me, wait until I finish the potion," he said dejectedly.

"I was looking for Severus," Remus answered coldly.

"He should be back soon."

Remus nodded. "He told me."

"I know." Draco found any conversation impossible. What could he tell the other man? 'Sorry, I had sex with your lover', 'Sorry, I have no idea what we did', Draco shook his head. It was much better if he stayed quiet.

"Did you tell Sirius?"

Draco closed his eyes. He really did not want to think about that discussion. "I haven't seen him."

"Are you planning to tell him when you see him?" Remus pressed on.

"I won't be with him and lie to him," Draco stated.

"How could you? How could you betray him that way? He loves you." Remus was breathing heavily, trying to contain his anger.

Draco threw the knife he was using on the table. "Don't you think I know? I have no bloody idea what happened last night. We started drinking and then total blank. I have no clue why I would even..." Draco bit his bottom lip. "I'm sorry, Remus. I'm sorry if I caused problems between you and Severus, but I have no explanation to give you or myself. I simply don't remember."

Remus nodded. "I was going to tell Severus first, but-"

The door opened and both wizards turned to see Severus enter his classroom.

"Remus?" Severus kept his eyes on his lover.

"I came to speak to you, but I might as well tell you both." 

"Remus, you don't..."

Remus held up a hand. "Let me speak, Severus. I'm not too happy with either of you at the moment, but...I understand that neither of you consciously betrayed Sirius or me. However, that doesn't excuse you." Remus looked pointedly at both wizards. 

"I didn't think..."

"Shut up, Severus, and for once, just listen. I'm willing to forgive you, both of you, but this can never happen again, Severus. With Draco or with anyone else. Are we clear on this?"

"Yes," Severus's voice was just above a whisper.

"And you..." Remus turned to face Draco. "...tell Sirius or I will."

"I'll speak with him. You know..." Draco began to put away the ingredients he was using. "...I can finish this potion tomorrow. I'll leave you two alone." Draco walked to the exit and stopped next to Remus. "I...this is...you are important to Severus. Thank you." Draco left abruptly.

"Remus?"

"Yes?" Remus stared at Severus's dark eyes. They were always so full of emotions, but now, oh now, they just took Remus's breath away. He could see the love and lust mixed with uncertainty and fear.

Severus grabbed his hair and pulled his head close for a hungry kiss. When Severus pushed his tongue inside Remus's mouth, the Gryffindor sucked forcefully until his lover whimpered into the kiss. 

"I'm going to fuck you," Remus breathed before diving in for another kiss. While he explored Severus's mouth, he grabbed his wand from his robe and locked the door.

Remus threw his wand on the floor and began to undress his lover. Frustration set in as he tried to undo each button. Tired of being careful, he pulled the jacket open. The tinkling of the buttons on the floor was barely audible over the rough panting.

Severus stood accepting, letting his lover do as he wished. And Remus seemed to have very specific ideas. Soon, the Slytherin was bent over one of his students' desk, trousers and pants down to his ankles, legs spread as far as his trousers allowed them to be.

Remus opened his robe and unzipped his trousers. He ran his hands over Severus's arsechecks, fingers slipping into the crack. Severus tried to stifle a moan. "That won't do, Severus. I want to hear you. I want to know what you feel. Accio wand." 

"There is oil..." Before Severus could finish the sentence, he felt wetness invade him.

"I'm hard and so are you. Magic is a lot quicker." Remus pressed against the hole and invaded it in one blunt thrust.

Severus cried out. The pain was a blessed welcome against the emptiness he had felt all day.

Remus leaned down and kissed his lover's neck. "Are you all right?"

"Merlin, yes...move...please"

Remus frowned. Severus never pleaded or begged. "Are you sure you are okay?"

"Need you." Two simple words, but Remus understood the meaning behind them. This was much more than physical. This was about being wanted and loved. Remus knew those needs very well, having spent his life alone.

"Love you," Remus answered as he grabbed Severus's hips and began to move inside his lover's body.

Remus rammed his lover's arse with all his strength. Their laboured breathing was the only thing heard in the room. There was no need for words, just two bodies satisfying each other.

Severus came silently, but Remus could feel the shivering, his own cock riding the waves of his lover's orgasm. Remus grunted his own release before collapsing on Severus's back.

When he came down from his bliss, Remus noted Severus's pensive glare. "What's wrong?"

"Do you think we can repeat the experience without me having to betray you again?" Severus asked thoughtfully.

Remus bit Severus's shoulder hard. Just the thought of Severus cheating on him made him furious. He released the flesh, when he heard Severus whimper. "You seem to enjoy being a top," Remus noted casually as he pulled out and unzipped his trousers.

Severus stood up and accioed his clothes. "I do, but...it's nice to know that you're comfortable enough around me to lose control. You're always so bloody disciplined."

"So speaks the man who walks with a broom up his arse," Remus snapped back. Then, his expression softened. "I know that I hold back to overcome what I am, but I promise that I will try to act more naturally around you. Now..." Remus embraced his lover. "...I think we should move this to your bedroom."

* * *

Draco left Hogwarts and went straight to his home. No, it was not his, anymore. This was Sirius's place. He apparated outside and knocked on the door, but no one answered. He entered with his key and went straight for the bedroom.

Summoning the trunk that only six months ago had brought all of his belongs to this house, he began to fill it with his possession. He moved methodically through the closet and the drawers. 

When he was done with his clothes, he looked around to see what else he needed to take. There were a few frames with his parents' picture, one photo with him and Sirius taken on his first day at the house, a few others with Greg and Vince - when they were still talking to him - and one when he won his first match against the Gryffindors in his sixth year.

Having collected everything, he looked around. He missed this place already, but it was better this way. He put his key on the table and scribbled a few words on a piece of paper.

_You'll be happier without me._

_Draco_

Draco left before he changed his mind.

* * *

On the morning of New Year's Eve, Remus was at Harry's house. He had promised to help Harry decorate the house and now they were in the midst of suspending confetti into the air. Hermione and Ron were placing floating candles into the garden, while Fred and George were creating 'surprises' for the guests.

"Where's Sirius? I thought he would be here," Remus said while he kept his eyes on Harry, watching for a reaction.

Harry shrugged. "He hasn't been out since he and Draco broke up."

"What exactly happened?" Remus didn't have to fake his curiosity. Draco had returned on Christmas day with his trunk and had refused to answer any questions.

Harry shrugged again. "His answers are either 'I don't know' or 'I don't want to talk about it'. I still don't understand what he sees it in the little prick."

"Love requires no explanations, Harry. It simply is," Remus said as he directed the paper strings into festive decorations, floating in the air. "Your girlfriend is going to be here, tonight?"

"I wouldn't call her a girlfriend, but yeah, she'll be here. Now, if I could just remember her name..." Harry grinned. 

Remus smiled and shook his head. "If you keep going like this, you'll run out of witches to date."

"Nah, there is plenty." Harry looked at the room. "I think we're done here."

"If you don't need my help..."

"You're going to see Sirius, aren't you?" Harry asked.

Remus nodded.

"See if you can convince him to come tonight."

"I'll try, Harry." Remus hugged the younger wizard and used the floo connection to reach Sirius's home.

Sirius barely raised his eyes from the television when Remus arrived. 

"Hello, good to see you, too," Remus said sarcastically.

"If you're here for the party, you can leave. I told Ha-"

"I'm here because of Draco. What the hell happened?" Remus tried to stay calm when faced with Sirius's apathy.

"How should I know? Ask him. He never came home after the party or on Christmas Day. I had supper at Hermione's and when I came all of his things were gone." Sirius sighed.

"He never told you anything?" Remus sat on the couch, next to his friend. 

Sirius shook his head. "He left a note saying I would be happier without him. I don't understand. I have no idea what I've done."

"Did you try talking to him, asking him the reason?"

"I did, but he doesn't want to talk to me. I won't press him. If he doesn't want to see me, I don't think I should..."

"Please, he is a teenager. He has a pimple and he thinks the world is falling. You're the adult in this relationship. Act like one." Remus wanted to kill both wizards at the moment. Draco had taken the coward way out and Sirius wasn't acting any better. "Ask him why he thinks you shouldn't be with him. He might surprise and tell you."

"You know something, don't you?" Sirius brightened at the idea that his friend might tell him.

"I'm not going to interfere in your relationship-"

Sirius got up abruptly. "There is no relationship, if you hadn't noticed. He broke up with me."

"You don't even know why he broke up with you." Remus sighed. "If you love him, you won't give up so easily. And if you don't love him, then it's better this way."

"Of course, I love him. I would do anything, but he _won't_ talk to me. I've tried. I came to Hogwarts to talk to him, but he won't even look at me. I don't know what else to do."

"Look, I'll make sure that he comes at the party tonight, but you have to do the rest. I'll see you tonight, my friend." Remus hugged his friend and got ready for his next task.

* * *

"You're back early. Something is wrong?" Severus asked as he saw Remus enter the potions classroom.

"Don't you two ever stop working? And to answer your question, everything is fine. I came home to ready for the party. Did you pick what you're going to wear?" Remus asked casually.

Severus dropped the ladle in the cauldron. "I...I'm not coming. You know I don't like to go out for the holidays."

"Oh, come on. It'll be fun. Besides if you come to Harry's, I'll promise that you will come in more pleasurable ways when the party is over. I plan to ravish you, tonight. I want to lick and touch until you think you'll explode. I'm going to tease you until you're begging for me to fuck you."

Draco cleared his throat. "You know I'm still here. I _needn't_ hear every detail of your sex lives."

Remus snorted. "You've seen my boyfriend naked. I think it's too late to be modest."

Severus tried to defuse the situation. "You should go to the party, Remus. Potter will be upset if you don't and you will have a much better time without me."

"After what happened the last time you were alone with Draco, you don't think I'm stupid enough to leave the two of you alone for New Year's Eve, do you?" Remus asked sarcastically. "Look, you can both come to the party. You can keep each other company and I can keep an eye on you." Remus should feel ashamed to resort to blackmail, but all was fair in love and war. And somehow, love and war were synonyms when Slytherins were involved.

"I don't want to subject myself to a night with so many Gryffindors." Draco replied.

"After screwing Severus, I think you owe me," Remus snapped back.

"That's low...for a Gryffindor," Draco amended.

"What can I say? I spend too much time with two Slytherins," Remus said with a smile.

"The world is coming to an end when a Malfoy and the Head of Slytherin are being blackmailed by a mere Gryffindor." Severus shook his head at the thought. "Fine, I'll be there, but I won't play nice."

Remus laughed. "I don't ask for miracles, Severus."

* * *

Harry grabbed Remus's arm and pulled him into the kitchen. "Are you insane, bringing Malfoy?"

Remus calmly pulled his arm free. "I know what I'm doing, Harry. Just keep Ron away from Draco and the twins' tricks from Severus and everything will be fine."

"You have a plan?" Harry's eyes narrowed.

"I was hoping to get Draco drunk enough that he won't remember why he fought with Sirius. Then give them a box of condoms and send them on their merry ways," Remus stated calmly.

"That's brilliant! I don't know what Snape is doing to you, but I like this new wicked Remus," Harry commented.

"Oh, it's not Severus per se. It's just that I've been dealing with two Slytherins daily for the past six months. They just bring out the Marauder in me, except now I use my brain to stop mayhem instead of causing it." Remus patted Harry's back. "Oh, don't look so shocked. Let's go in the other room and see what's happening."

"What did Potter have to say?" Severus asked as soon as Remus left Harry's side and joined the two Slytherins.

"He was probably showing his annoyance at our presence," Draco replied.

"Or his anger," Severus put in.

"Or his aggravation." Draco winked at Severus.

"Or his exasperation." Severus smirked.

"Or maybe he was just saying what idiots you two are," Remus said with a smile. "Now, why aren't you drinking? It's a party, after all."

"After what happened the last time Severus and I got drunk, we thought it was best to stay sober." Draco grinned and then paled.

Severus looked where Draco was staring. He put a hand on Draco's shoulder. "Just ignore him."

"Don't be so dramatic, Severus. I'm sure Draco and Sirius discussed their break-up civilly and maturely." Remus kept his eyes on Draco as he said that, trying hard not to smile.

Severus shot him a glare over Draco's shoulder. That look clearly said that Severus knew that Remus was up to something and that he would find out what it was. Severus had perfected that glare when they were still students.

"Well..." Draco cleared his voice. "You're right; I'll just pretend he is not here."

"Of course." Remus smiled. "I'm sure you resolved everything with him, so there is really no need to talk to Padfoot."

"Right." Draco sounded like he was trying to convince himself.

At the same time, Harry had found Sirius and worked his own plan.

"Could you help me?" Harry put a tray with filled glasses in Sirius's hands. "Just bring them around for me, please."

"Can't you just spell the tray?" Sirius asked confused.

Harry shrugged. "I still like to do some things the Muggle way."

Sirius looked confused, but acquiesced. He began to circulate among Harry's guests until he heard Remus call him. Sirius smiled at his friend and moved toward him.

"You shouldn't have called him." Draco scowled, but Remus ignored it.

"I need a drink and so do you." Remus could feel Severus's eyes on him, but remained calm. 

When Sirius reached them, Remus took a glass and handed it to Draco. Then, he took another one and handed it to Sirius while taking the tray away. "Severus and I will take care of this." Remus grabbed his lover and led him away.

Severus snickered. "That was as subtle as a dragon landing in the Great Hall."

Remus shrugged. "Considering the fact that we're dealing with Sirius and Draco, I'm pretty certain that neither will notice."

Severus almost laughed, but laughing was not something that the Slytherin ever did, especially in the middle of a Gryffindor gathering. "You're getting snarkier with each passing day. I like that."

"Good, because you're stuck with me."

As Remus and Severus left, Draco and Sirius stood, looking at each other. Draco was the first to look down.

"Whatever I did, I'm sorry," Sirius whispered.

Draco's head snapped up. "You didn't do anything. It's just...I did...Look, I'm sorry. It's my fault. Let's just leave it at that. Please."

Sirius would do anything to make the sadness disappear from Draco's eyes, but he couldn't grant this request. "I just..." Sirius grazed Draco's cheek. "I love you. I need a reason if we aren't to be together."

"I can't, Sirius. I need to go." Draco put down the glass and walked outside, since apparating inside Potter's house was impossible.

Sirius ran after the Slytherin, catching him and wrapping his arms around Draco's waist before he could apparate away. "Not this time, Draco. We're going home and we're going to discuss this. Afterwards, I will leave you alone. I promise on my honour as a Gryffindor." 

Releasing Draco slightly, Sirius put one arm around Draco's shoulder until he felt his lover relax in his arms. "Let's go home."

They apparated to their house. Sirius directed the blond toward the couch and they sat together. "Tell me what happened."

"You're going to hate me." Draco stared at the cuckoo clock on the wall. It was much easier to focus anywhere rather than to see the hatred in Sirius's blue eyes.

Sirius smiled. "I can't think of anything that would make me hate you."

"Not even that I slept with Severus on Christmas Eve?"

Silence descended in the room. Sirius got up and began to pace. "And what? You decided that you love him and that's why you left?"

Draco frowned. "Of course not. I mean, I love Severus, but not the way you mean. And that's not why I left."

Sirius stopped in front of his lover. "Then, pray tell, why did you leave?"

Draco tentatively reached to hold Sirius's hand. "You and Severus are the only people who care for me. I knew that you would hate me when you found out that I had betrayed you. I couldn't live knowing that."

Sirius kneeled in front of Draco and kissed the palm of the hand he was holding. "I don't hate you, Draco. It still amazes me that a handsome, smart and young man like you would want to be with me. I live with the fear that one day you'll find someone younger, better and leave me. No matter what happens, I want you to talk to me. I love you too much to completely let you go. I'll always want you as my friend."

Draco dropped on his knees and kissed his lover. Salty tears mingled with saliva as they kissed. "I'm sorry, I'm so-"

"Shhh, it's all right." Sirius kissed the tears away. Waiting patiently on the floor, until Draco calmed down. "Come on." He got up and helped Draco stand.

"Where are we going?" Draco asked, confused.

"Where do you think?" Sirius asked as he closed his arms around Draco and pushed his lover toward the bedroom. "I don't want you to think about anyone but me," he said as they reached their bedroom.

"I can't remember. I was drunk." Draco felt Sirius's arms tense around him.

"That bastard took advantage of you," Sirius said affronted.

Draco rested his temple against Sirius's. "Severus was drunk too. He remembers nothing."

Sirius spun Draco around. "Then, it never happened."

"That's called denial."

"Maybe..." Sirius ran his hands under Draco's tight pullover and over Draco's muscular back. "...but you only remember me, my hands touching you, my tongue licking you, my lips touching you, my cock in you."

"Only you." Draco closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Sirius's shoulder. "Please, make me feel you."

"Take off your clothes, Love, and lie on the bed." Sirius began to disrobe 

Sirius looked at his lover, lying nervously on the bed, and smiled. "Relax, Draco." He stalked toward the bed and lay on top his lover. Draco's arms immediately closed around him. Sirius framed Draco's face with his hands and kissed him.

Time seemed to freeze. Sirius did nothing more than to explore Draco's mouth as his lover clutched onto his forearms. 

Draco felt as if he was going to die. "Sirius, please inside me...can't wait."

Sirius looked intensely into his lover's eyes before nodding. Pushing himself to a side, Sirius snaked a hand between Draco's legs. He pressed his thumb against Draco's arsehole and he felt his young lover forcing his muscles to relax.

"I need lube." Sirius thought aloud.

Draco gripped his shoulders. "You need to shove your cock in me. Now. Please." 

Sirius slicked himself with saliva, lay back, blanketing Draco's body with his. Positioning himself, he pushed in as slowly as he could, trying to gauge if Draco felt pain, but the blond smiled beatifically. When Sirius bottomed out, Draco sighed contentedly.

"Missed you," Draco murmured.

"Me too, Love." Sirius began to rock, propped on his elbows and his eyes fasted on his lover.

Tears began to flow freely from Draco's eyes and each new movement only increased their fall. "Don't stop." Voice coloured by sadness and relief.

"I'm here for as long as you want me."

"Always want you, Sirius."

Sirius didn't contradict him, but continued to move slowly, letting their orgasm build like an overture started in sordina and concluded with a full orchestra. Sirius came after Draco did. He stayed on top of his lover's body until he realised that Draco was still sobbing.

Turning on his back, Sirius pulled Draco close. "It's all right."

Draco rested his head on Sirius's chest and embraced Sirius. "I'm sorry. You should be upset with me; instead, I'm acting like an idiot. It's just...you wouldn't understand."

"Maybe, if you tried talking to me, I would." Sirius ran his fingers through Draco's hair.

"I felt so alone that day. The Christmas hols were always special for my family. Then, at the party, Weasley said that I wasn't important. I mean, I know Potter comes first, but...I missed my friends, my parents. And you weren't there. I had to listen to the idiot and..." The arms around Draco tightened.

"There is no competition with Harry. I love you both, in very different ways, but that doesn't mean that he is more important than you are. Tell me what you did with your family," Sirius said gently.

Draco raised his head and smiled. "You wouldn't believe it if you saw it. It's a family secret that my father loves Christmas. The house-elves spend a week decorating the house. There are Christmas trees in all the rooms. Wreaths are everywhere. Candles float through the rooms. The mansion looks better than Hogwarts."

Sirius smiled. "It must be beautiful."

Draco nodded. "It is, but that's not even the best part. Once a year, on Christmas day, all masks are dropped. We used to get up and meet in the sitting room, still in our pyjamas, something that we never, ever did. We would have breakfast on the coffee table while opening the gifts." Draco's voice cracked as the tears threatened to spill once more.

"You probably got wonderful things."

"Oh, I did, and I liked it, but it's not what I miss. It's Father not being afraid to hug me. It's sitting on the floor next to my mum. Of course, later we would wear our finest clothes and walk respectfully down Diagon Alley, raising our noses to the common folks-" Draco chuckled. "- but for those few hours, we were normal, just a loving family."

"It sounds really nice."

Draco smiled again. "Yes, it was, except...it's never going to happen again. I was still trying to accept that, when I thought I destroyed everything with you and I didn't know how Severus was going to react. Then, he told Remus. I just didn't know what to do."

"You know that Remus cares for you as well, do you not?" Draco snorted and Sirius cuffed him in the back of his head. "Idiot, I'm telling you that he does. He was here this afternoon. I wasn't going to Harry's party. Remus's the one who convinced me to go."

"If it makes you feel better, he blackmailed me into going."

Sirius laughed. "He always was a sneaky one when it came to romance. He's the one that played matchmaker with James and Lily."

"He probably wanted to make sure that I wasn't near Severus."

Sirius raised Draco's face with a finger under his lover's chin. "Pay attention. I love you. Snape-" Sirius faked a shiver, earning a snigger from Draco. "-loves you. Although if he touches you again, I will kill him. Remus cares for you as well. I know none of that can make up for what you lost, but we are here for you. You can avail yourself of our maturity and experience."

Draco snickered. "You mean you're old."

Sirius smacked Draco's arse affectionately. "You're an insolent brat who needs his nap. You do look awful."

"Thanks," Draco replied sarcastically. "I haven't been able to sleep."

"I wager you'll sleep fine tonight. Come on, get settled."

Draco curled on his side, the only position in which he fell asleep. Sirius mimicked the position and cuddled close to his lover, a possessive arm thrown on Draco's waist. "Get some rest and tomorrow we can open the Christmas gifts. They are still under the tree and I can be convinced to put a pyjama on."

Draco moved even closer to Sirius. "Nah, I'll rather have you naked."

"I think I can accommodate you. Now, sleep."

Draco laced his fingers with Sirius's. "Love you."

Sirius hoped that love would be enough. He sighed and said, "I love you, too."


End file.
